• Kelly


Updated: Jun 24, 2019

How Do I Love Thee? (Sonnet 43)
Elizabeth Barrett Browning, 1806 – 1861

How do I love thee? Let me count the ways.

I love thee to the depth and breadth and height

My soul can reach, when feeling out of sight

For the ends of being and ideal grace.

I love thee to the level of every day’s

Most quiet need, by sun and candle-light.

I love thee freely, as men strive for right.

I love thee purely, as they turn from praise.

I love thee with the passion put to use

In my old griefs, and with my childhood’s faith.

I love thee with a love I seemed to lose

With my lost saints. I love thee with the breath,

Smiles, tears, of all my life; and, if God choose,

I shall but love thee better after death.

Poetry like this reminds me of how inspiring romance can be. It’s euphoric and mysterious, and by default, grateful.

The opening two lines of this poem are my favorite:

How do I love thee? Let me count the ways.

Sometimes we just need to do that. We need to take stock of our marriage and remind ourselves why we love the other person. Let’s be honest, one bad day can create a disastrous relationship if tempers are left unchecked and words are spoken (or yelled) that, although meant in the moment, just shouldn’t have been said.

On the other hand, it’s very difficult to be angry with someone when your constantly thinking of how grateful you are for them!

How would your marriage look if you took ten minutes every day to thank God for specific attributes of your spouse? What would it do for your relationship if you voiced what you are grateful for? I encourage you to experiment with something John Maxwell does that he learned from his father. Within thirty seconds of seeing someone – whether for the first time or the 51st time – he makes it a point to compliment that person in sincerity. It does wonders for the individual, their relationship, and even for John.

What if ten minutes and thirty seconds could improve or even save your marriage? It would be worth finding out!

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