I don’t need people. Not in a rude way, of course. I just mean, I’m not a needy person. I don’t require surrounding myself with a million and a half people to feel fulfilled.
I’m actually an introvert who functions extremely well as an extrovert. I believe the term is “ambivert.” I do not get my energy from being around people as a general rule, although individual interactions sometimes may add to my energy level. It just depends on the person and the circumstance.
Typically, people drain me.
I will last only for so long before I need to recharge my battery in some peace and quiet. This usually involves a paintbrush and getting messy with colors (see my newest painting here).
Or I’ll get out my journal and a roll of paper towel. Yes, I prefer paper towel when crying – it holds up much better to blow my nose when snot is going everywhere as I sob hysterically.
And, yes, it feels like sandpaper. Function over comfort, friends.
I realized a long time ago I do not have to be a super social person to be friendly and have quality interactions with people. I do not have to change who I am to fit in. When I’m around “my people,” I can exist without pretense or expending unnecessary amounts of energy to engage. I can meet their needs without ignoring my own.
I have also realized not every situation is tailor-made to my tastes and sometimes I have to interact with people who are drastically different than me in every way. I need to have energy, intellect, and an emotional capacity to impart to these people without it taking away from me.
In a word, I have learned the art of ‘balance.’
I have learned this, and yet I am still learning it.
Have you ever tried to level something? There are three sections on a level and the middle section is where that little air bubble is supposed to be. You can technically say something is ‘level’ as long as the bubble fits entirely within that middle section. You can truly only say it is ‘balanced’ when it is fully centered within that middle section.
I want to live in the center of God’s will. I want to live in the place of balance in relationships. I want to make sure I am putting my priorities in the right order and I’m not swayed to one side or the other because of circumstance or emotions.
There are people who live in a constant state of emergency. Everything in their lives is in never-ending chaos. Their needs should not move me.
I need to stay centered and keep the ‘first things’ first. If I am in a position to help and it will not take away from other priorities, I can surely step in to assist. What I cannot do, however, is allow the lack of planning, absence of established boundaries, and the frenzy of another person to derail me from the path I am on.
I need to keep my balance and keep my battery charged – for my sake, as well as the world around me.