I have lost track of how many times in this season I have said the words, “I don’t know what to say.”
I don’t know what to say when I go to journal my thoughts and my mind goes as blank as the page in front of me.
I don’t know what to say when I want to worship, and I find myself without a melody and at a loss for words.
I don’t know what to say when I sit down to write the books that are burning in my heart, and I question whether the message is right, or the messenger is qualified enough to deliver it.
In fact, “I don’t know what to say,” seems to be the only thing I have known how to say!
I do find comfort, however, in realizing I’m not the only one who struggled with knowing what to say. Moses had this problem in Exodus 4:10 when he told God, “Please, Lord, I am not a man of words (eloquent, fluent), neither before nor since You have spoken to Your servant; for I am slow of speech and tongue” (AMP).
The prophet Jeremiah felt the same way, and he objected to his calling as a prophet, telling the Lord, “Ah, Lord God! Behold, I do not know how to speak, for I am [only] a young man” (Jeremiah 1:6, AMP).
In all my many hours of tearfully seeking the Lord, literally on my face before the God of the Universe, I have seldom Him answer, “Say this specific thing. Write this exact message. Sing these particular lyrics.”
I’m not in this boat alone, though.
This issue of not knowing what to say must have been so common amongst God’s people Jesus even felt it was necessary to address it in Luke 12:11-12, when He said, in essence, “…The Holy Spirit will teach you what you should say in the exact moment when you should say it” (author’s paraphrase).
According to that verse, it is possible we may not know what is going to come out of our mouths until the very second we open them.
That’s not mildly terrifying at all! HA!
It did get me thinking, though. I wonder if maybe God isn’t as concerned about the content of the message as much as He is the obedience of the messenger. It seems to me was able to work around the inadequacies of the people speaking on His behalf to control the result of the message delivery.